Literal Birmingham Souvenirs

Today, in the pub, Mr Jon Bounds informed the table that he’d been thinking of ordering sticks of rock candy with “Alum Rock” running through them but hadn’t because he’d need to order a thousand and didn’t really want a thousand. Which is fair enough.

This got me thinking of other literal souvenirs one could sell for areas of Birmingham. Saltly salt shakers came to mind and a few others emerged from the table but it was announcing the game on Twitter that brought it all flooding out.

Since this was the first #hashtag game I’ve ever started and since Twitter’s inability to manage their archive means they’ll be effectively lost in a few days, I’m going to list the best here.

Other than the Saltley shaker I suggested:

• A miniature diorama of healthland for Small Heath
• a wooden statuette of a bear for Bearwood
• a model of a very long bridge for Longbridge
• A small castle on wheels for children to pull around for Weoley Castle

Eightball suggested:

• Bearwood saws
• Sparkhill Decorative Matchbox

Craigfots suggested:

• King Sheath condoms
• Lickey End lollipops
• An inflatible Mike Whitby (to which I said “No, a SELF-inflating Mike Whitby”)
• A 3-D jigsaw of Spaghetti Junction (Beach sold seperately)
• Chocolate Gold from the Jewellry Qtr

leolodreamland suggested

• Soggy fireworks from Sparkbrook

helgahenry suggested:

• Little model wino on a bench with real urine and feet smell for Moseley

Katchooo suggested:

• Tyseley ties in grey and brown
• Frankley my dear I don’t give a Damn mugs
• Niche shells
• Winson Green Mile rosary beads

siwhitehouse suggested:

• Cofton Hackett lozenges
• a Saltley Gate
• Hollywood bowls
• Muntz-ter Munch crisps
• Castle Veils
• Warstock cubes

jontutcher suggested:

• A high gate

jonhickman suggested:

• 0.91m long rulers from Yardley
• Four Oaks! Collect them all

KarlHeld suggested:

• a model phalanx of blackshirts for Moseley

tk4721 suggested:

• birmingham new street station match-stick model

simonjgray suggested:

• a home birthing pool made in harborne
• a jewel-encrusted glove made in handsworth

Dubber suggested:

• Hall Green paint (to which jonhickman replied “a much paler version of Hall Green paint for Mere Green”)

Frantic 101 suggested:

• a heavily mouldy cheese, fashioned into a candle = Cheswick Green

JohnColby suggested:

• Small bag of shingle to form into a pile – Gravelly Hill

tobyklatter suggested:

• Giant condoms from King Sheath
• Miracle cure powder from Sandwell

Silas Marner suggested:

• A plateful of Muffins – Muffins Den

Jenny_Drew suggested:

• Roughley sandpaper
• Hockley ham
• Liquorice Allsorts tie-in for Bassetts Pole

daveharte suggested:

• a range of hats and scarves from Walmley

pigsonthewing suggested:

• A strap-on dildo for Ladywood

nebolland

• miniature figure of the actor who played the joker in the dark knight – Small Heath
• figure of actor who played the joker in the dark knight cleaning his genitals – Washwood Heath

tomlennon1 suggested:

• Autographed photos of Dudley Moore & Charlton Heston (for Duddeston)

And of course, the souvenir everyone was thinking about but none dared utter. Except me. The Acocks Green penis pistol cigarette lighter in green:

There were more but they either missed the point or weren’t funny (yes, less funny than the above) or I just didn’t get them. You can see them all in this Twitter search. Or you can for the next day or so until Twitter’s search facility looses them along with all the other history of people’s lives that’s lost in there. And you know what happens to those who forget history. They’re doomed. Doomed I tell you.