Saturday saw my cousin John marry Tanya and I went along. It was a slightly, but not problematic by any stretch, odd one for me in that it was the first extended family event I’d been to without my mother, which might sound odd coming from a mid-30s man but I don’t tend to do family stuff that much. It wasn’t so much her absence that was weird, more that I was in some way representing her wing of the family, doubly so with sister Lucy also being on the other side of the world. It was also a little odd because John and Tanya are pretty devout Christians of the Baptist variety so the service had Jesus right at the forefront. Again, not a problem as it was their thing but still rather odd to find myself in that environment (especially as I hadn’t had much sleep the previous two nights!)
It was all lovely, of course, and it was really good to see John and his family in such a happy environment. But best of all was the chance to catch up with my cousins, specifically John’s sister Emma along with Karen and Philip, the cousins I was probably closest to when we moved back to the UK in the 80s. Families are, by their very nature, pretty fucking odd and mine is no different, but I was struck by how sorted and together my generation has turned out to be. Sure, we’ve all had our ups and downs over the years like anyone but this bunch, now in our 30s and 40s, are, well, pretty cool actually. (And I should squeeze in a special mention for Philip’s partner Andrew who manages to be intrinsically part of the family yet offering that much needed outsider perspective to keep things grounded – a true star.)
I’d like to think I’ll see them more frequently but I know I’m shit at doing anything about that. Hell, I have enough trouble keeping up with friends who live in the same city as me let alone family spread around the country. Added to this it was my mum who tended to organise these sorts of meetups and she’s in New Zealand now. I wonder if she could run one remotely? Maybe we could stream the video to her or something? Or would that just be weird…
Anyway, felt the need to note this. My cousins are great. I’d like to introduce them to my friends, which I think is saying a lot.
(Photos from the wedding were shot on film so it’ll be a while…)
All I can say on your cousins’ front is “Here, here!”…so how about a cousins trip to the Antipodes, and forget the video streaming. Next summer is good for UK meet-up, so who’s organising?. Maybe families need the freedom to flow in and out; the door just needs to be kept open in both directions all the time, and that sometimes takes a bit of effort.