One of the things I miss about working in a bookshop is having a stash on dumb-assed customer stories. Flatmate Andy had a doozy today which I’m sure he won’t mind me nicking.
[Phone rings]
Andy: Hello, Waterspoons, how can I help?
Customer: I’m need a book.
A: Yes?
C: I’ve got a code for it.
A: Okay.
C: It’s Eye… Ess…
A: [rolls eyes, waits for actual ISBN number to begin]
C: Bee… En…
[Silence]
A: Um…
C: Do you have it?
A: Sorry, I need the number that follows that.
C: But that’s all I have.
A: [Realising that this is a no-hope case] What’s the title?
What’s genius about this one is the customer had narrowed down her search to every single book ever published since the ISBN system was introduced. I can picture her coming into the shop, picking up two books and realising to her horror that they both have the same code.
Okay, maybe you need to have been a bookseller to really appreciate this…
But those of us that do appreciate it really do appreciate it.
If she really wanted to be helpful she could have told him that neatly enough the last number in the code was just the difference between the weighted products of the first numbers and the next largest number divisible by 11.
That should narrow it down a little, right?…
I love those kind of enquiries…. no, wait, sorry, I mean I love telling people about those kind of enquiries.