And Unto Us…

My Christmas had an extra twist this year as my sister, Lucy, was forecast by her doctor to give birth on December 25th. There’s a margin of error of two weeks so from mid December onwards the family was on alert, every text message quickly flipped open, ever phone call speedily answered. And because this is my sister, who is like me in ways that are diametrically opposed so if you picture my eccentricities and flip them in a metaphor mirror she’ll take it very personally and not talk to you for a while, it wasn’t just that she was going to have a baby. Oh no.

She’d opted for a Home Birth.

And her inlaws, Jeff’s parents, were flying over from California for a fortnight.

And she wanted my mum to be there throughout as a calming influence (what with the yoga and all).

And niece Isobel is only 15 months old.

And the family Christmas was taking place at her home this year.

And did I mention she was due to give birth on December 25th?

When this was relayed to me I laughed like a frightened person. This could not go well. I mean, this is my family, who are like me only different, so I speak with some authority.

As an aside, for years my immediate family was spread pretty much around the globe but recently they’ve all moved to within a couple of hours drive of each other, and while there are no grounds for this I generally find it slightly unnerving. These people should not be in close proximity. Not only is it just kinda wrong in my mental world it also means that I when I see one of them I tend to see the others, which I’m not used to. The dynamics I’ve built up over the years with each individual were not designed to merge. Of course they do merge and it’s generally no worse that anyone else’s family, but the pessimistic anticipation is quite tiring sometimes.

And of course it all went swimmingly. As the birth was due to take place on the living room floor we decamped Xmas dinner to the cottage Jeff’s folks were staying and kept it simple and re-heatable. I even had a cop-out of being super-tired due to this silly job I’d been doing the fortnight before (which I’ll write about later because, trust me, it’s worth it) so I kept falling asleep meaning my family exposure was nice and piecemeal, and then when I woke up on the 28th I went home.

And in all this time, while his presence was affecting everything, there was no sign of the baby.

Those days between Xmas and New Year are, for those not working in retail, something of a down-time and I spent them, like I suspect so many others, working my way through the Return of the King extended DVD. First the film itself (four hours), then all the documentaries (about nine hours), and finally the Actors and Directors commentaries (another eight hours). As this marathon drew to a close on New Year’s Eve I had a phone call from my step-mum who had heard over the mobile phone network that it had begun, though details were sketchy. Being an old pro at this stuff (I was present when niece Isobel was born last year, though that was in a hospital) I figured since we knew nothing then all we could do was wait and send supportive text messages in the knowledge they wouldn’t be read. Turned out I didn’t have to wait too long and the phone call came through in the early afternoon from my utterly shattered mother. Sister and baby fine, born at 12.08pm, 7lb 15oz.

And while happy and relieved my reaction was surprisingly muted. Last year I was grinning like a tit but while obviously pleased and looking forward to everything that now follows it didn’t seem as bonkers as the first time. Kinda inevitable I suppose and all the anticipation didn’t help. But don’t get me wrong, it’s a way cool thing, which I discovered for certain when I popped down to Banbury today for a visit.

His name is Oliver Francis Chilberto, continuing the trend amongst my breeding peers to give their children Edwardian names. I expressed concern over this, that the poor lad was being set up for a school-life of bullying, but apparently there are a couple of Olivers in the area so it’s not too unusual.

And he’s blooming lovely.