On a private mailing list, Father Jack writes:
I’m at least a week closer to death than I was at tea-time yesterday.
The incidence of mortality caused by obesity in the US is almost
exactly equal to that caused by starvation across the African
contintent. Every offering from the sandwich man this morning had
parsley in it. You can buy a gun in the sports shop on Putney Hill
but I haven’t come across a decent tab of acid for nine years. The
water in London is so polluted that Metropolitans are statisically
far less likely to conceive children than people who live in rural
areas. War looms. Despite being subtly advertised as fuel that will
make your children achieve better results at school, sugared
breakfast cereals contain over a hundred artificial chemical
ingredients and a 30g serving contains as many calories as the
average adult requires for 2 days. Dennis Leary has outlived Bill
Hicks. Just before her execution date, a Texas woman appealed for
clemency on the grounds that she had become a born-again Christian.
`Please,’ Bush whimpered, his lips pursed in mock desperation, `don’t
kill me.’ Boats give you cancer. Lemonade is made from orphan’s
tears. Mornings are made of sunlight, worms and psoriasis.
Thank you, Father…