You will no doubt be aware of the Anthea Turner autobiography debacle which generated vast quantities of schadenfreude last year when it failed to sell 2000 copies across the country. Well, I have good news. Very good news.
The BBC, who as a publisher are the most smug, self righteous bunch of wankers I’ve ever had the displeasure to deal with (although their rep is a nice guy, which is a shame…) recently broke out of the TV tie-in market and started publishing books which do not have hours of free advertising in the national media. The first few books did pretty well. They timed the Steve Redgrave biography well (making one wonder if the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award might have been a fix) and were expecting great things of their most recent acquisition.
You’ll have heard that Esther Ransen has an autobiography out. It got a lot of coverage in the papers which care about this kind of thing and some of the papers which don’t. Something to do with her stepdaughter or something. I was published by the BBC a couple of weeks ago and, across the chain I work for has sold a grand total of 700 copies. We haven’t sold a single copy.
Once again, there is a god.
Now, publishers, please stop commissioning B-list celebrity biographies. Or if you must, don’t pay so much money for them. And stop being surprised when they don’t sell. These people do not have fans, they just have too much exposure. Terry Wogan has fans, that’s why his biography (another BBC book) was top ten at Xmas. Esther Ransen does not have fans. Yes, people might be interested in reading about her in the tabloids, but they ain’t gonna pay £17.99.
Please learn.