The Crow of Cheapside
Yesterday were were visited by a crow who hopped through the front doors of the shop and stood there with it’s head cocked to one side in that slightly malicious way that makes the crow the alsatian of the bird world. “I may not be able to walk properly but I am mean and I will kick your head in” it seemed to be saying. Not wanting crow-shit all over the books, and knowing how hard it is to get a bird out of a building, I immediately opened all the doors and waved my arms around shouting loudly at the little bugger. It went away.
Today the crow returned looking a little more disheveled. There were no obvious signs of injury but it was definitely on it’s last legs and unable to fly, the brutality of the city being too much for it. What with the Xmas rush about to hit us any minute we paid it no notice but a couple of women had a go, saying we should call the RSPCA to look after it. This hadn’t occurred and, as my break was finishing, I thought I’d do the right thing and call them.
After finding the right number (0870 5555 999 if it happens to you) I was instructed to place the crow in a cardboard box and wait for the RSPCA officers to arrive, which they would do within the next 7 hours. I’ve never picked up a bird before (yeah, yeah…) and expressed my concern about this matter. As long as I had plenty of kitchen paper and approached it from behind it should be fine, the nice lady said, obviously used to the shock of people not realising that good citizenship in regards to animal welfare actually involved touching the things.
Slightly shaken but determined to see this through I prepared a box large enough to hold the bird (no mean feat – crows are not small creatures) and pulled off a good few meters of kitchen paper. Steeling my nerves, and having left the till unmanned at the height of the rush, I went to catch the crow.
It had gone. The pavement was full of suits and suitettes enjoying their hour of freedom from the office and must have scared it away. After an hour of waiting I rang the RSPCA to cancel the collection.
Bye bye, Mr Crow.