Pete Ashton

My good friend Jo was pondering switching her Twitter avatar from the picture of a cat she’s been using for years to one that actually looks like her. To simplify things I suggested she do both and threw this together for her.

Since she’s very unlikely to actually use it I thought I’d archive the fruits of my labour here.

As you might have heard, Created in Birmingham is opening a shop in the Bullring. This is, of course, mildly insane. But only mildly.

It’s one of those pop-up shops which take an empty unit for free for a short amount of time and fill it with cool stuff. The shopping centre fills a gap with something quirky and bespoke while the artists get the sort of traffic they can only dream of.

Of course whether that traffic turns into sales is another matter. Sometime a small curated audience is better than a massive random one – quality, not quantity and all that – but it’s still an interesting and challenging opportunity.

Since my involvement Created in Birmingham currently amounts to being introduced by Chris as the guy who started it off and having occasional chats with him about what he’s doing I can take zero credit for setting this up, but I am going to be involved.

Y’see, as long-time readers will know, from 1990 to 2003 I worked pretty consistently in retail, mostly for Waterstone’s where I found myself stumbling towards management before circumstances (see this blog, summer 2002 – spring 2003) caused me to leave the wacky world of the high street. So while I might be rusty I do know a little bit about how to run a shop.

I’m also currently without an office and while home-working has been pretty good over the Winter I will be getting itchy feet soon, so the shop can double up as somewhere to work on my photography and other things. And it’ll be a regular gig, getting in to open up and so on, which is probably what I need at the moment.

We popped in for a look today. Here’s the shop floor which is about a third as deep behind the camera:

(The white balance was really weird thanks to the mix of light sources so excuse the tone. (What I am saying, it’s a cameraphone snap. You can deal.))

And here’s Chris, Ian and the Bullring lady at the rear of the shop:

(Ah, that’s better.)

Oh, and excitingly (well, for me anyway) there’s a big storage bit upstairs with loads of shelves!

No idea what we might do with this other than store stuff in it but, ooh, I do like it.

The lease is for at least 6 weeks and it could go on for much longer. I’d probably best not go into too many details at this stage as that’s what Chris does and I’ll probably get them wrong. But it looks very likely I’ll be working in a shop in the Bullring this spring.

If you’d told me that a few months ago I’d have laughed you out of town.

Today, in the pub, Mr Jon Bounds informed the table that he’d been thinking of ordering sticks of rock candy with “Alum Rock” running through them but hadn’t because he’d need to order a thousand and didn’t really want a thousand. Which is fair enough.

This got me thinking of other literal souvenirs one could sell for areas of Birmingham. Saltly salt shakers came to mind and a few others emerged from the table but it was announcing the game on Twitter that brought it all flooding out.

Since this was the first #hashtag game I’ve ever started and since Twitter’s inability to manage their archive means they’ll be effectively lost in a few days, I’m going to list the best here.

Other than the Saltley shaker I suggested:

• A miniature diorama of healthland for Small Heath
• a wooden statuette of a bear for Bearwood
• a model of a very long bridge for Longbridge
• A small castle on wheels for children to pull around for Weoley Castle

Eightball suggested:

• Bearwood saws
• Sparkhill Decorative Matchbox

Craigfots suggested:

• King Sheath condoms
• Lickey End lollipops
• An inflatible Mike Whitby (to which I said “No, a SELF-inflating Mike Whitby”)
• A 3-D jigsaw of Spaghetti Junction (Beach sold seperately)
• Chocolate Gold from the Jewellry Qtr

leolodreamland suggested

• Soggy fireworks from Sparkbrook

helgahenry suggested:

• Little model wino on a bench with real urine and feet smell for Moseley

Katchooo suggested:

• Tyseley ties in grey and brown
• Frankley my dear I don’t give a Damn mugs
• Niche shells
• Winson Green Mile rosary beads

siwhitehouse suggested:

• Cofton Hackett lozenges
• a Saltley Gate
• Hollywood bowls
• Muntz-ter Munch crisps
• Castle Veils
• Warstock cubes

jontutcher suggested:

• A high gate

jonhickman suggested:

• 0.91m long rulers from Yardley
• Four Oaks! Collect them all

KarlHeld suggested:

• a model phalanx of blackshirts for Moseley

tk4721 suggested:

• birmingham new street station match-stick model

simonjgray suggested:

• a home birthing pool made in harborne
• a jewel-encrusted glove made in handsworth

Dubber suggested:

• Hall Green paint (to which jonhickman replied “a much paler version of Hall Green paint for Mere Green”)

Frantic 101 suggested:

• a heavily mouldy cheese, fashioned into a candle = Cheswick Green

JohnColby suggested:

• Small bag of shingle to form into a pile – Gravelly Hill

tobyklatter suggested:

• Giant condoms from King Sheath
• Miracle cure powder from Sandwell

Silas Marner suggested:

• A plateful of Muffins – Muffins Den

Jenny_Drew suggested:

• Roughley sandpaper
• Hockley ham
• Liquorice Allsorts tie-in for Bassetts Pole

daveharte suggested:

• a range of hats and scarves from Walmley

pigsonthewing suggested:

• A strap-on dildo for Ladywood

nebolland

• miniature figure of the actor who played the joker in the dark knight – Small Heath
• figure of actor who played the joker in the dark knight cleaning his genitals – Washwood Heath

tomlennon1 suggested:

• Autographed photos of Dudley Moore & Charlton Heston (for Duddeston)

And of course, the souvenir everyone was thinking about but none dared utter. Except me. The Acocks Green penis pistol cigarette lighter in green:

There were more but they either missed the point or weren’t funny (yes, less funny than the above) or I just didn’t get them. You can see them all in this Twitter search. Or you can for the next day or so until Twitter’s search facility looses them along with all the other history of people’s lives that’s lost in there. And you know what happens to those who forget history. They’re doomed. Doomed I tell you.